Miracle Waiting in the Wings

Barbara didn't exactly tell me what I wanted to hear, prayed to hear. As of late my prayers have definitely been taken up five notches and are more like pleadings now. It's humbling. I can almost touch God.

I've been praying that the joint pain in my right pointer finger, which has all the RA symptoms, would really just be the infection and parasites and Strep G that are in all my other joints. But when I asked Barbara to look at that finger specifically, the computer clearly said RA. My faith is often like our eyes when we're starving and pile our plates high with more food than we could ever swallow. My faith likes to accept every challenge fearlessly, but it doesn't know what patience means. So when Barbara told me it was RA, it was almost like a slap in the face. I've been so, so healthy the past couple months. Shouldn't I be better by now?

But now that I've had time to reflect, I feel like Heavenly Father is telling me, "I know you think you know what you're capable of, but Katie, I'm about to show you that you are capable of so much more." And even more powerfully He's saying, "Watch what I can do. If you'll let me, I'll work an even mightier miracle for you. You haven't seen nothin' yet." I trust Him, I do. He's healed me so many times before that I can never doubt His power, but this is to a new height. I'm wondering if He wants me to prove Him to the point that he lets me see the physical affects of RA so that He can heal me, change me visibly. It makes me heart ache because of the love He has for me and ache because I feel like a little child afraid to jump off the diving board. I guess we'll just have to see what He has in store.

PS: The most beautiful sun is making my backyard radiate and shimmer. It wants me to come out and swing for a minute and pick the pretty purple wildflowers growing through the grass. It doesn't even care that I'm still in my pajamas.

Today's Point Spectrum

+50 pts. Getting to see a boy named Adam one more time.
+19 pts. Completing final exam #1 without breaking a sweat.

-50 pts. Seeing a boy named Adam one last time.

+75 pts. Someone mowing our jungle while I was at said final!! (You could lie down in some areas and no one could see you.)
+5 pts. The fridge being dark and all the digital clocks being blank when I got home.
+15 pts. Remembering the whole neighborhood is dark too, although the power company did threaten to permanently turn off our power today if we didn't call them (but Leigh did—thank you, Leigh).
+2 pts. Almost crying because all the wonderful foods I wanted to make required electricity.
+6 pts. Eating a spinach and lettuce sandwich. (Hey, I'm still an amateur when it comes to having a variety of raw sandwich-worthy condiments on hand.)
+44 pts. Declaring avocado my replacement mayo. It spreads much better and is all natural.
+0 pts. Hitting my head against the desk repeatedly (i.e., Studying for my statistics final).
+166 pts. so far. I'd say it's a pretty good day.

May 6th

May 6th is 2 days after my last final and 1 week before I fly to Seattle with my mama to see 4 people we love dearly, 2 of them being munchkins. And May 6th is also my . . .

2nd appointment with Barbara!!!! 

(I've been on a waiting list and just got offered this appointment.)

More Answers

In all honesty, I haven't posted any health updates lately because I've plateaued and am slightly frustrated about my arthritis pain not improving, so there's nothing much to share that's progress. And just yesterday fear started to creep in. I don't like that word and for the most part I feel completely at peace about my health, but yesterday I saw my Uncle Mike, whose wife has RA. I'd taken my car in to see Mike, the Saab master, because the "check engine" light came on Wednesday afternoon. Nothing's wrong with the car—the light came on because my gas cap wasn't screwed on tight enough. It hurts my hands to click the cap tight, so after I fill up with gas I just twist it on without clicking it in place. Something about the lack of pressure in the gas tank makes the engine light go on. So I practiced turning the cap and can click it three times if I do it with both hands, mainly using my thumbs, and go at it at a different angle than normal. Mike figured that me not being able to screw the gas cap on tight was the problem because his wife, Lavon, can't do that either because of her RA. It hurts my fingers to even hit the blinker or the windshield wipers now, but what can you do? Lavon's in the same boat but worse. So are a lot of other people.

So the fear part crept in after Mike mentioned joint damage and how when you use your joints when they're inflamed, you can cause permanent damage. I didn't know that. The rheumatologist said to keep using my joints even when they hurt. She also told me to come back in 4 months or until the pain got unbearable because she said my hand pain appeared to be osteoarthritis not rheumatoid. Well, what is unbearable pain? I think I can bear any pain. I feel like my rheumatologist has just left me hanging without figuring out the root of the problem and looking deeper. At first I felt fine about that because I had Barbara and knew about the infection in my body even if the rheumatologist didn't want to go down that road, but now that my symptoms aren't improving as quickly as I hoped, I feel very vulnerable and don't want to cause permanent joint damage. I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. If I were seeing faster results with the medicine I've been taking from Barbara, I would feel safer.

But just now I decided to research more about Strep G to better understand what it's doing in my body and what to expect with it, and I came across this information, which helps me see the whole picture a lot better! Amazing! Read below.

"Group G strep (GGS) is normally present on the skin, in the mouth and throat,and in the intestines and genital tract, and is most likely to lead to infection in alcoholics and in people who have cancer, diabetes mellitus, rheumatoid arthritis, and other conditions that suppress immune-system activity. GGScan cause a variety of infections, including:

     -Bacteria in the bloodstream

     -Bursitis (Inflammation of the connective tissue structure surrounding a joint)

     -Endocarditis (a condition that affects the lining of the heart chambers and the heart valves)

     -Meningitis

     -Osteomyelitis (inflammation of bone and bone marrow)

     -Peritonitis (inflammationof the lining of the abdomen)."

Read more: http://www.faqs.org/health/topics/5/Streptococcal-infections.html#ixzz0lO6Nar00

If I didn't have RA and if my immune system weren't low from other health issues (epstein barr virus and hyperthyroidism and stress), I bet the Strep G wouldn't have attacked my joints. Interesting! So my primary concern is to kill the infection and then see if the joint pain goes away completely. If not, then I know the infection really did trigger the RA and then I'll deal with the RA. My most persistent and worse pain is in my right pointer finger knuckle, which is an RA joint (OA joints are the two top joints of the fingers and the thumb joints), so I am concerned about joint damage there. Here's what I'm doing now to eliminate the bacteria:

-taking herbal drops to kill the parasites and Strep G infection (same drops I've taken over the years to kill all my travel bugs)

-taking Lactozyme pills to put good bacteria in my body

-eating 4 Tbs. coconut oil daily, which has major antiviral properties (go to http://www.advance-health.com/coconut.html to read more)

-getting massages with essential oils that fight infection and help with pain (Okay, so I've had only one massage so far, but was the best thing I've done so far for my pain. I felt amazing the entire day and swore I would start doing them every other week. But they cost money, so I have yet to go back for my second one.)

-trying to stress less

-trying to sleep more

-eating 4 cups of green smoothie a day (see Please Pass the Green for more info)

-lessening the foods I eat that contain preservatives

-eating mostly fresh, raw veggies, especially asparagus, edamame, chickpeas, broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, spinach, and green beans to get the most protein

From the Mouth of Babes

We already know I'm a picture stealer when it comes to my niece and nephew, so don't even worry about it. Just a couple minutes ago I was on Brad and Chels's blog, and Chels had shared a great story about little Emma that was too good to keep to myself. So now I'm owning up to being a story stealer.

Emma is 2 1/2 years old. Just a couple weeks ago Brad, Chels, Emma, and Jude went to visit Chels's parents in Pennsylvania. While they were there they went to see the Palmyra Temple and stopped in the visitor's center. There were two sister missionaries there who asked Emma if she knew who the statue was of. Emma said, "Jesus." Then they asked who Jesus was. Emma said, "My husband." Who is this child?? I just love her. Good thing she didn't say William Tyndale was her husband or else we would've been in a fight. I've already claimed him as my husband after the resurrection.

Behind the fence

Swinging. Careening. Cloud-to-soul revealing. That's when I noticed the rusty latch at the tip-top of the wooden fence. The wooden fence I thought we shared with our backyard neighbors. So I crept close and jiggled the latch and got impatient when it wouldn't budge. So I hammered the fence with the side of my slightly able fist, and the door went creak and I took a furtive peak. I bet you want to know what I saw, don't ya? A world of pebbles and hollow stripes, silently peering into a land of primly pruned shrubs and delicate vines and ornate stools of iron. The stripes kept us apart, and I liked it that way, behind the fence. In between the fences. A world of pebbles and empty snail homes, silently leading to unknown corners and buried wonders of rubble.

Please Pass the Green

So I've decided to expand my blogging world once again. Along with my Egypt blog, I now have a "healthy eating experiment" blog. About a week ago I decided to officially change some eating habits to get back to nature through whole and raw foods. I'd already eliminated white flour and dairy, but now it's no more processed anything.

I thought it might be helpful to more people if I shared my findings publicly, so keep visiting this blog for Katie's private thoughts and check out Please Pass the Green for my latest health discoveries. And I promise they'll be good. But just so you know, the new blog is somewhat under construction, but I'd love for you to already take a look and give me any feedback you want.

Freedom

Interesting feeling to need something and have the means to buy it. It's a giddy mixed with content and secure and profoundly prepared. Almost astonishment to be able to spend freely out of necessity. And awe that most of my life hasn't been so. A "so this is what it feels like" feeling. It digs into my heart.

So you see, I've been rationing my tax return and buying all those things I've needed but that have never made it onto the priority list. Sunglasses, for example. I have two broken pairs that dig into the flesh behind my ears. The leopard print on the one pair is peeling off, revealing a foggy, clear-plastic frame. The black pair cost $5 at Down East, and the legs (handles?) wobble and the decorative plastic plating is coming off. So I decided to put to good use a $10 gift card and see what Kohl's had to offer. Vera Wang. Originally $34. On sale for $17. Paid $8.12. So comfortable, they're sunglass heaven!

Next is a bra. And then a pair of slippers!

I'm not used to this content feeling. I hope it will last.

He Is Risen.

He went it alone so that we don't have to. I know Christ lives. Happy Easter.

Partnership: Husband & Wife

Last night my old mission president Gamaliel Osorno from Valencia, Venezuela, gathered his little flock of past missionaries. He and his wife flew in from Venezuela for this weekend's LDS General Conference, which consists of four hours Saturday and four hours Sunday of talks from the prophet, the 12 apostles, and other church leaders and music from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I so look forward to this time each year—April and October—when we can hear the inspired words of the prophet and apostles. I can't wait for tomorrow. General Conference is broadcast by TV, Internet, and satellite all around the world, so even my brother Nate and his fellow Ghanians will get to watch it!

In April 2007 Elder Gamaliel Osorno was ordained to serve in the fourth Quorum of the Seventy to oversee the church in Venezuela, Ecuador, Colombia, Bolivia, and Peru(?). (I think Peru is included—I know it was five countries.) Just as groups of 70 elders were called in the Old and New Testaments to watch over and instruct the church, today the church also calls groups of 70 elders to be traveling ministers and watch over the church worldwide. President Osorno said there are more than 300 elders in the quorums of the seventies today, and they all met yesterday from 52 different countries! He said it was incredible to have his headphones on and hear all of the translations. Spanish is his only language.

So the reason I mention all of this is because one of the main topics of their meetings yesterday was to discuss the the cultural differences of the husband/wife relationship. He said that in the United States we don't have as much of this problem, although it does exist, but in other countries and cultures throughout the world there is a greater sentiment of male dominance (which I clearly saw in Venezuela, Mexico, Argentina, and Egypt). He said that it is a challenge for newly baptized members to grasp the emphasis the church puts on a partnership in marriage and abandon their cultural norms of women being subservient. Newly baptized men (as well as not-so-newly baptized men) are trying to learn less compulsion and more humility, and women are learning how to play more of an active role in the relationship to make them equal marriage partners.

Elder Osorno said, as you might imagine, that as couples are learning how to work in a partnership and show more respect for each other, they are happier and together move closer to God. Parents are then paving a way for their children—the next generation—to know how husbands and wives are to work together and support each other in love.

Any thoughts?