As I was sitting here on my bed, pausing while reading (my only true birthday wish), I started humming. I was surprised that the words coming to mind were the words my heart was saying, but they were also the words to a familiar hymn. My pausing while reading was to decide where I need to go to find myself—where I can retreat to be alone and find what I am looking for. I can't seem to escape like I need to. I tried to have a retreat day on Friday and ran into Dave's mom, who again told me Dave was engaged and how lucky he was to find such a wonderful girl. I laughed and cried inside, and decided the world was cruel. But then a couple hours later I ran into an old friend Marc (yes, Alycia), which turned the whole day around. There's always a shimmer of happiness somewhere. If you want some, I can share mine with you!
Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul.
Where when my aching grows, where when I languish, where in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He only One.
I know these words are not only for me right now in my life, but they are also for a lot of you. So many of you are coping with deep losses. It's amazing how I'm hearing these words for the first time today. Maybe you are too. We all want to be whole. We all ache, some days more than others. We feel alone or misunderstood or wounded or disappointed. And we all can go to the One who can heal and understand and speak peace. I didn't include the third verse, but I love how in there it says that when we're in our own Gethsemanes, the Savior finds the peace we need and brings it to us. I believe this with all my heart.
6 comments:
Theres nothing like opening a friends blog to find a picture of yourself in a swim suit. Thanks. hahahah
p.s. life is always changing for the better. I have to remind myself of that often. Happy birthday!
marc I can't spell is last name mexico marc?
Oh you just made me laugh!:) Maybe I should keep some photo permission forms on hand. Sorry about that!:) I thought you looked beautiful. My blog is a safe zone too, remember? Only friends allowed.
And, yes, that's the same Marc! I'm supposed to call him this week to get some free RAM from him for my computer.:)
Your post brought tears to my eyes reading the song.
Come to denver. Not just to visit. come move to Denver. Everything's different on this side of the Rockies.
I love your perspective and insight into things! I find myself relating to you and the hope you encourage! Thanks for always sharing your feelings. Perhaps this upcoming Conference will help with any insights you are looking for!
I will keep my fingers crossed about marc...then maybe you will end up in Texas!
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